2016 Malifaux Data

Hey Folks!

So it took me a while to figure out how to put a spreadsheet into the blog, and this was the best I could come up with.

I was able to put all my notes from recorded games in 2016 into one spreadsheet. It was an interesting process, and although by itself it doesn't make me a better player it's intriguing to discover if there are any correlations or notes I could gather from comparing a year's worth of data.

So over the year I was able to record 54 games - there are only a few that I didn't record notes on because they were demo games or I didn't have my book with me. So here are a few bullet points on what I discovered:

• 31 games were won (57% win ratio)
• Of those wins 21 were using Leveticus (68%), 5 were Viktorias (24%)
• Leveticus was my most used master, totaling 33 games (61%). He has a Win Ratio of 64% (21/33)
• Viktorias were used for 10 games (20%) and had a Win Ratio of 50%. I'm sure I could do better with them in 2017, considering that most of these games were at the beginning of the year or so and I didn't have them dialed in like I do now
• Parker Barrows has a Win Ratio of 0% over 4 games! Not enough play time to be useful data, but c'mon - over 4 games I should have learned something, but he's pretty terrible
• Of the 23 games where I recorded initiative flips there seemed to be no direct correlation between Win/Loss and the amount of times I won or lost initiative flips (either the majority of times or otherwise)
• Molly and Asami were my most often faced enemy masters, with Rasputina coming in third. This surprised me as it didn't seem like I had faced them most often.
• I took Convict Labor in 37 games, 22 of which were won (59%) and was my most often picked scheme - not a surprise in terms of most often taken considering it's always available, but more often than not it resulted in a win
• When I didn't pick Convict Labor my Win Ratio goes down a bit to 53%, but this is kind of skewed as this also includes games not using Gaining Grounds 2016
• The spread of strategies played was fairly even - 9 games with Collect the Bounty, 8 games with Extraction, Guard the Stash and Interference (as my most often played ones)

It's really interesting to see the overall statistics of how I did throughout the year compared to how I thought I was doing. I knew I used Leveticus most often, but was surprised to find I didn't use Viktorias more than I thought. I was also surprised to find that initiative didn't affect my games nearly as much as I would have guessed. Also, I only played against Lilith once and she's a master I plan my lists around!

Anyway, thought I'd share my notes with you. I highly suggest keeping a notebook with you every time you play. It helps you track your scoring over the game and can be valuable data to look over afterward - especially if you write down the opponent's crew composition to look up later. Writing down your scoring through the game ensures accuracy, so when you have to recall when and what you or your opponent scored it has an accurate recount of the score for both of you. Notating model interactions and when you used soulstones can also help define your play style, important future notes on how models interact between one another, and can tell you what you used your stones most often for.

Start 2017 off right with a notebook for your Malifaux games!

Holy crap, 20,000 views?! Uh, also some Malifaux words...

Insane!

Just on August 29, 2016 I had finally hit the 10k views mark for this blog. I don't know what I've done after that, because I just doubled my view count in a little over two months! Um, keep up the great... work... Ryan...

Anyway, there have been a few hobby things I've done here and there including tidying up my hobby room and reorganizing my paints. I had to perform paint triage to make room for my paints and sadly had to put away a few old soldiers that are probably over a decade old. They're still here, just in the closet, as you'll have to pry my old GW Chestnut Ink from my lifeless hands. But being that I hardly ever used them it's better to put them somewhere where they don't take up precious real estate.

My often used rack, mostly Vallejo but with Secret Weapon and Reaper paints as well.

My less often used rack, mostly GW stuff as I've grown apart from the line with the new paints. P3 is hardly ever used...

I had also hit a tiny whim to get my Abominations table ready and did most of the work in a short amount of time. I even took a crappy picture:

Just look at these adorable little fuel tanks of nightmares

I actually got more of it done than in the photo, but I didn't take any pictures yet. It should only take about another hour for them to be completed. These little buggers have a lot of parts to paint, so I kept them mostly metal to knock them out. They aren't critical in my crew so I'm not putting a ton of effort into it, I'd even painted their skin using only washes because I didn't want to get bogged down.

But Ryan, didn't you say you were only going to concentrate on your commissions?

Well that's correct, you annoyingly observant reader. However I will be attending another tournament with our friends in Austin and I'd like to attend with a fully painted crew this time. I'd actually sat down and wrote out what I'd need to get done in order to be fully painted and it wasn't too much additional work. I'd have to finish my Abominations and Flesh Constructs, then paint the Ashen Core (and base the Dust Storm) as well as paint my Brutal Effigy. Not too shabby, and when I get tournament motivation I tend to get a ton of work done in that amount of time due to my arbitrary deadline. We'll see if I can manage it again!

So if this isn't so much of a hobby update, what can I talk about?

I've thought of touching on a few points about Malifaux games that may not get a lot of coverage in the forums, although it may be brought up in Podcasts but I don't listen to them often enough to know. Mainly I wanted to discuss rules interactions, efficiency, or simply general gaming concepts that could help you elevate your game to a better level. These are points that I feel helped me break through in the game and gain a lot of experience and I hope that sharing it with you random folks could help you... at the very least it gives me, a person who talks too much, a way to vent out relevant ideas!

So what's a topic I can touch up on relating to Malifaux? Well kiddos let's talk about...

No, not Shutterstock...

AP!

Or Action Points for the uninitiated. These are the bread and butter of the game, as they allow models to perform their actions to get stuff done. Understanding the elements of your action points can help you get the most out of your game.

First off, and you may already realize this, not all AP are equal. Some AP, like your master's, are probably going to be more effective overall than the rest of your crew's, which is why I get more excited about activating Leveticus than I do with a Necropunk. Some AP get more mileage out of attacking than they do with movement, while other models' AP may be more powerful doing the opposite. The nature of your AP is very fluid and changes constantly throughout the game. Even getting additional AP in your activation changes the nature of your AP as your options increase. Using AP during your first turn is a completely different beast than using it to move in your third or fourth turn.

So there are a few points I'll bring up in order to keep this short(er) and sweet:

• The difference between Master and Minion AP

So I mentioned there being a difference between master and minion action points. The reason I say this is because inherently your master should be optimized to excel at a certain area better than another model that does something similar, as it should be because they are... well, masters.

So lets take an aspect that is used with AP as an example - attacking. This is probably the most common use of AP in the game outside of movement. If you have a master who excels in an area of combat, let's say Melee, then it is right to assume they should be better at it than the average melee-dedicated model. This can be represented by a bump in the Ml stat, say from 6 to 7, or the damage track being better, or its triggers and upgrades being better, etc. One of my favorite melee models is Ashes and Dust because he has a Ml stat of 7 (master levels) and a minimum damage of 3. However Viktoria of Ashes/Blood (counting as one master really) are significantly better than that once you account for their abilities and upgrades. An attack from Ashes and Dust will most likely hurt you for 3 damage, and doesn't ignore defensive abilities like Armor. Meanwhile Viktorias can consistently have a minimum damage of 5 that ignore almost all defensive measures outside of the irregular kind, not mentioning they'll have positives for attack, damage, can increase their Ml stat, etc. The point spent on an attack is better coming from a master dedicated to melee than the enforcer.

This is an obvious point, and of course it's not hard and fast. Misaki as an Outcast is a dedicated melee master and I'd rather rely on Ashes and Dust to get the job done honestly. But it is a good guide when you're analyzing your crew's efficiency - in fact, with that Misaki example it helps put into context as to why she's not a good master when compared to others; because I have models in the crew that are actually better than her in melee it's a good way to see where she stands in terms of power level. Sure, other factors take a part, like how she's more mobile and can charge while engaged, but in the end she needs to put the hurt on someone and her minimum damage and resource draining to ensure it happens trumps it. Heck, Ashes has the same amount of AP as her as well and can put 9 damage on an enemy easily without many resources, while you can probably rely on Misaki doing around 6 or so, while technically having the same type of speed and melee ranges but Ashes takes a hit much better.

I bring up the point of master AP being intrinsically more valuable than non-master AP because it ties in with a ton of factors associated with the weight of AP - Obey masters are essentially turning Master AP into Minion AP and thus watering down their potential actions, while crews like Sandeep are turning minion AP into master AP and making theirs better.

Granted, again, it's not hard and fast, and sometimes if you have the option to Obey or something similar it may be more powerful in the situation than something else. In that vein, though, if you are trying to reliably use extra AP from your minions then perhaps you should look for other minions that do so. If you like using Obey to make key models move outside of their activation, look for minions that push, or grant them Fast, or Lure, etc. There's a reason why masters like Lucius and Zoraida are bottom of the totem pole, or why Perdita shouldn't concentrate on Obeying everyone else, it's because their AP should be more valuable.

If you find that your master is a really good shooter, then try to maximize all of their AP so that they're only spending it on shooting, rather than having to use 1 AP to move into position. If they're great at melee, try to find ways that keep them protected on the way in and getting them there faster. Identify elements that could stop your master from doing their thing, like Paralyze crews or Defense 7. If they're Casters then be aware of models like Sue that can effectively shut down your AP spending, or identify models that are susceptible to Ca attack actions like models with Incorporeal - such as Nix.

You want your master spending their AP in what should be their comfort zone - every time I've had to spend AP that isn't in their wheelhouse, like Interact actions or moving to get in LOS, I make sure to ask myself if it's the best way to spend their AP at this time. Maybe there's another model that can activate first that may prevent the Master from having to attack that target, or maybe there's a way to move the target so the Master doesn't have to spend AP to move.

On the other side of the coin, know your minion's capabilities as well. I try to bring specialists to the table, models that excel in one area over others if they attempted the same actions. Although a Necropunk can kill things in certain situations, I bring him because of his mobility - his AP gets him further across the board than other 5ss models on average, and with his 2AP he's able to lay down a scheme marker, Leap with his (0) action 6 inches away, and lay down yet another marker. A Freikorpsmann can only lay down one marker unless he gains fast, and his walk is only a 5 (unimpeded, but technically so is the Necropunk's!). I bring Flesh Constructs because they have over twice the amount of wounds than other models in their price range, and they also bring along Hard to Wound and Reactivate! They specialize in just sticking around, and their AP is rather flexible because they're doing their job just by surviving. Johan has a high Ml stat, minimum damage 3, great triggers, can heal (although not optimal) and can remove conditions - not a lot of 6ss models can say the same, and that's not mentioning if she is attacking a Tyrant or Construct, has Finish the Job, oh goodness Johan is amazing...

This is how I think of AP spending while creating a list: Identify how many elements/models in your list whose AP excels in a certain area - generally I break them down into very broad categories of scheme running, denial, melee and ranged. I make sure to have strong presences in as many of those categories as possible. This helps identify what gaps need to be filled with what type of AP, and make sure that when I play I'm spending that AP to do what they were built to do. Making your beater have to spend AP on running schemes isn't as efficient as if they had juicy targets and someone else was running schemes. I've forced this choice on opponents before, and have had that happen to me a few times. If you are able to identify those opportunities or weaknesses in your list just analyze their AP ability and lessen the gap.

• Using AP to set up future AP

This brings up a point - just because your master is a baller with a gun doesn't mean you won't spend AP doing other things. The trick to being efficient seems to be making sure that ALL your AP are spent with a purpose, and being able to see how the game will advance over each turn is a huge part of that.

It all starts with deployment. Where you place your models at the beginning of the game are going to dictate everything that happens for the rest of the game. Placing a model in the middle of your deployment is going to take a lot less AP to get them in range to attack than it would if you deployed way back in the corner as far away as possible. This may seem obvious, but I see a lot of players who deploy without true consideration as to what the consequences will be.

Let's say you're deploying first. You don't know where the heck he's going to place his models. But you do know your crew (as you should, in and out!) and you know that in order for Johan to be effective you need to get her in the thick of things fast, so where do you put her? Well, if you put her in the center of your deployment then Johan will have an easier time reacting to enemy deployment and movement; if they're on either side Johan can still move toward them while advancing and not lose as much efficiency as if he ended up on the wrong side away from his best target.

Take a look at your terrain: are there bottlenecks, paths or is it open? If you know the average walk speed is 5 how long will it take before models meet up? Where will they meet up? Will that setting be advantageous to you?

This is related to AP, because it will largely affect how you spend your AP. An average model will only have 10AP to spend at most in a game - that is ten opportunities for that model to affect positive change. Any time you're wasting one or two AP to get in the game is 10-20% of that model's potential!

So smartly deploying your models greatly increases the weight of their AP. You can use that previous example to actually help your models avoid combats as well - I almost always deploy my Necropunk on a table edge, as it eliminates an entire side in which an enemy will approach him as well as make half the table forget about him since he's too far.

Anticipate where your targets are going to move to and try to make it where they walk into your ranges. This forsight will help you spend less AP in the future on having to move to get into range and potentially squandering a turn you could have attacked. If you manage to identify where the fight will take place, did you get there first to have an advantage?

Does placing a scheme marker here prevent you from placing it in a critical area later? 

When I play Leveticus I'm thinking of this as soon as possible. I look at the terrain, then decide where the fight needs to take place to be to my advantage. I try to steer it toward open areas lacking in cover. When I identify the location I ask how I'm going to be able to influence the opponent's movement to this spot. Usually I'll identify the shortest unobscured path to that location and deploy most of my crew right in that path. A lot of the times this isn't far from the center, but if it's going to a side I deploy almost all my models in that area to force the opponent to have to consider going my direction in order to damage me. I then place models like my Necropunk to the opposite side to force my opponent to choose where to respond, either the single model who is probably getting VP on his own or the bulk of my crew, and if they go after the lone model then my entire crew is free to do their schemes as they please (while the Necropunk runs away...). Once they decide to go toward my crew I'm using Leveticus' abilities to place him in a spot that has the most amount of firing lanes with the least amount of cover then for almost the rest of the game he never has to use an AP for moving again.

With Viktorias it is a much more direct approach - they excel in melee, and they need to get there fast. They have an extremely high threat range, so I only need to stick to an area before charging for one turn at most (sometimes I charge on first turn). In this case I'm actually looking for bottlenecks to protect my crew while keeping an open path to the master or other key models.

In any case I'm using initial AP to set up my future turn to be as advantageous as possible. Avoid throwing out your AP with no reason - I've lost games because I was careless with AP that wasn't necessary and walked them for no reason into scoring range for my opponent's schemes. All APs are precious little snowflakes.

• Being AP efficient - when certain AP deserve resources and when they don't

So how can you maximize the potential of your AP in game?

Firstly, always count your AP toward what your goals are. Every AP I spend I think to myself about how it will affect my scoring or how it will deny theirs. Is this attack critical? Do I really need this model to be off the table? Does using my (0) action help me move into position?

If I identify that it's an important action I will spend my resources to make it happen. If not, I let it go and think of other ways I can achieve the same goal with other models without sacrificing my scoring potential.

Being AP efficient ties in with resources so well because if you are really efficient then you won't require as many resources. When I began playing I'd noticed that I'd run out of control cards extremely fast, and that was because I thought every action was just as important as the next and didn't realize how to pick and choose which ones deserve cards. 

AP efficiency is also tied into the order of how you spend your AP. Does an action improve another model's actions? If so make things more efficient by activating your support first. If holding off on that model means you're at risk for an activation then plan your defense accordingly, or weigh the benefits of waiting over acting now.

Overall if you act with efficiency in mind you may just find that you have more resources by the end of your turn than you did before. Having your models hit the correct targets with the correct abilities is a huge boon toward your efficiency.

• AP Denial

A good point to bring up is also denying your opponent this precious resource. As stated before each AP can be broken down into about 10% of the average model, so denying them makes them much less effective every time. The benefits of conditions like Slow are easily understood, but if you can hand it out then make sure to consider your target. Although Slow affects everyone equally you'll need to make sure it's going to stop a model from doing what they're supposed to. If you anticipate a charge, give him Slow. If he was out of walk distance then you have effectively denied two attacks. If he's a shooter you've denied two shots or a focused shot. With masters it may not be as apparent as they come with an additional AP, but the weight of denying that extra attack may be compounded by the fact that they are especially good at that attack.

Having models with high defense or defensive measures can deny AP spent on attacks. Silent Ones deny additional attack damage, Flesh Constructs require additional AP for them to be taken down, and models like Hamelin, Ashes and Dust and Rusty Alyce deny charges which can deny a model's entire activation's worth of attacks. Sue's aura giving negative flips to Ca actions can deny an AP by forcing them to Focus, or miss the attack if they don't. Yamaziko's Brace Yari (also a (0) action!) denies charges for the damage it can do. Denial is a huge quality that often gets overlooked, and on the opposite end overestimated, so it is critical to understand how to deny AP. 

• Lastly: Your (0) Actions

My last point I want to make is the coveted (0) action. I love these as they feel like they're essentially free (I guess they are). It's what makes Von Schill so fun for me even though he's not the best by far.

Models with (0) actions are always a huge factor for consideration when it comes to list building. It is a third action that takes place in an activation, and some of these actions are so critical to their play style that it can have more impact than an action that costed 1AP. 

Each (0) action has its own considerations you'll have to address to understand your timing on use as well as its effect, but most tend to be pretty beneficial. For Outcasts you have a really good option in Sue, who has two (0) actions that both greatly assist your crew. Ashes and Dust's (0) action can help with your efficiency as you may not need to use an AP to move around the board, which is the same as Leveticus as well. It is especially powerful when upgrades give your models even more actions like these and are strong contenders on which I pick for my lists.

Conclusion

So there you have it, an unorganized and probably ill explained thought on AP use in the game. This post was made on a whim, so forgive me if my thoughts seem scattered. The important thing is to look at your every action under a microscope and understand their implications as much as possible, especially before a game so that you'll know how to apply your thoughts effortlessly while playing. Understand the strengths and weaknesses of your models so that you know the best match up for them, and make sure you enjoy your games!

An Insight into Genius...

"Basically, expensive models are a resource drag. 1) you lose activations 2) sometimes you need a model to take an interact action and any model can do that 3) you have 6 cards in your hand and that is almost never enough to save your favorite model and do what you want 4) on most flips the differences in stats don't make a difference, stats show mainly on cheats and you will flip more than you cheat. Most people don't consider their resources beyond points though. There's other issues too. 5) it's a lot harder to counter a crew that works together than a single model since your opponent can't match specialists up against your big guys 6) most crews bring some kind of ranged and it will usually be directed at a big beater 7) it's easier to bury or paralyze or cripple a single model...

...I could probably go on but I wont"

- Eeyore, from our Meta, on expensive models in Malifaux

Photography Thoughts and Controversies

So today's post will be mostly musings on a topic that's very touchy for a few members of our group, and that subject is miniature photography.

One point that has been brought up numerous times is how a miniature will look great in a photograph that's semi-professionally done and look completely different when seen in real life and not up to the same quality as before.

Another sour note comes from the use of photo editing, and where the line is drawn or gets fuzzy. At what point are you misrepresenting your miniature?

Well, as a primer, I am fully in the camp of presenting your models as best as possible in the best way possible. This entails correctly utilizing lighting, framing, and photo editing to show your model in its best and truest form. What may result isn't always true to how you may see it in real life and I'm glad - I'll explain this properly in a bit.

I'll start with my set up for my photographs. If you see a backdrop on my miniature, then my set up uses a printed piece of paper with a blue backdrop on it taped to the wall, two cheap lamps from Wal-Mart using the incandescent bulbs they came with, and usually my wife's old digital camera from almost 10 years ago. If it's not using a backdrop, then it's my iPhone 5s and whatever light exists around the place. Also, while shooting I make sure to use the right settings and white balance to create the truest colors, and the only post shoot editing I use is cropping. Also, this is all from the perspective of the most amateur of amateurs, so as always take this with a grain of salt. If you're looking for a professional view of miniature photography I'm sure Google will yield several great results as taking photos is a popular subject.

I'll be going through several photos that I've saved and not necessarily shared on this blog to show you the process I go through to take photos of my minis. It's really trial and error as I'm always learning how to be better at it.

My painted Malifaux models, snapped with my phone

So the photo above was just a snapped picture I took to show a buddy all my painted models so far, but it's a good control picture. The only thing I did was crop it a bit, everything else is standard, true-to-life as a camera phone can be. Seeing as no one argues that unedited photos of your friends on Facebook seem different than real life I'd say this should work just fine. I would like to say that since I have yellow bulbs in my light fixtures then it lights everything up with yellow light, that's why real life can make a model suck.

Hannah taken without correct white balance

Now take a look at this photo of Hannah. Compared to the control photo she seems a bit more yellow, and the background looks grey or even white. Since the other colors don't easily change with different light conditions they don't look too much different, it's usually the brightest colors that stand out the most as changed. This is because I didn't have my white balance properly set on my camera, meaning I didn't "tell" my camera what white should really look like under the light conditions using two incandescent bulbs. In video class we used to do this by holding up a white sheet of paper to fill the frame and adjusting the white balance to it, as it is a true white color source in the current light conditions, telling the camera to use it as a base to adjust all other colors to and recreate a true representation of how the environment looks. Yes, it's using technology to "adjust" what is being seen, but this is being used to create a more true representation to what should be seen.

If you see the above picture and see the piece of paper I use as a backdrop you'll be shocked at how much the color has changed. Of course it would look different in real life! In real life I could spend hours getting a blue shade just right only to have it spoiled by this crappy photo telling everyone else it's grey.

Hannah with correct white balance and settings

Now this is the photo I showed everyone online. One, it's significantly better. Two, it's a much more true representation of the model, as compared to the control photo. It may not be a perfect comparison, being that I did no white balance or anything else like that in the control photo, but I feel like it's closer than the previous one. I'd say that this photo is more true-to-life than the control, but what do I know, I guess you'd have to see it yourself.

Here's another to compare it to

Below is another comparison for the same criteria, this time using the Convict Gunslinger and on my phone:

Convict Gunslinger on my phone without WB

Convict Gunslinger with my phone with WB and no other settings change

Granted, there are lines on the backdrop due to the phone being a terrible tool to use for the set up as it's too bright for the default settings, but the only thing that changed between the two photos is setting the white balance correctly. 

If you're in a room filled with crappy lights when you first hold this model in your hands it will definitely look different in real life, but that's usually because if you're trying to show off your work you're going to make the best conditions possible to show how much work you put into the model. At least that's my thought process when I take photos. I equate that to trying not to take a photo of my new paint job in a dark room using a red flashlight or something, I'm setting it up for success. Taking a good photo is simply an extension of that.

Malifaux Child... in real life

Malifaux Child taken with my camera

Here's an example of how lighting can affect your model in other ways, namely with directional lighting. In these two photos the Malifaux Child's colors are almost the same short of maybe the shirt being lighter in the second photo. The main difference is where the light comes from creating shadows that aren't painted on.

In the first photo the light is above and behind the model, creating shadows on the front of the model. This obscures a lot of detail in the torso and face. I do like the way the hair comes out though, as I feel when I have it well lit the contrast is taken away, but I chalk that up to not having varnished it when I finished and it reflects a lot of the bright light.

This does bring up a perfect example of why there is protest to some photos and why it's a legitimate claim. Some miniature photos use directional lighting to place dynamic shadows on their models that weren't painted on like that. I've seen some models with a spotlight effect that I feel isn't actually true to how it was painted and it does add an impressive effect that isn't necessarily representing the miniature as it is.

An example of this would be taking a miniature in a diorama or gaming setting, upping the contrast and making it black and white. This makes a much more dramatic photo that doesn't represent the paint well but looks cool.

There's a fine line that photographs tread, and it can really all depend on the context that you present your miniature.

My Shenlong Proxy with terrible lighting and settings (phone)

Just changing the light placement can really improve it (phone)

Here's a model I don't believe I've shown before, although I mentioned it previously in a blog entry about Shenlong. This is an example of how just moving your light sources closer can improve the photo dramatically. Because the first photo had the light too far away the camera has less light being picked up for the photo and changes colors as a result, In all fairness though this was using an app I downloaded for my phone and it may have automatically added a filter or something, it doesn't look like it's just the light alone in my opinion. But taking that away you can see the difference in the shadows on his ribs. The first photo is more dynamic but I did not paint those shadows on his midsection. 

Okay, so next I'll bring up how a different background can change how a mini looks as well. Here's a pic of when I first finished my House Member for Mercs:

My Housemember in the kitchen against the table

With the brown table as a background it makes the model appear darker. Granted, this was a fast snap picture I took so I didn't make sure the light was hitting it right or anything.

Now the next picture I took in the same room, all I did was put the model in my foam tray with the foam topper as a backdrop for a quick pic:

Same lighting conditions and settings, added with black foam as a ghetto backdrop

I didn't change the settings on my phone or anything, but it's a dramatically different picture. Now that the model is the brightest part of the photo the camera compensates with the light conditions or something I guess.

How you see them "in real life"

Okay, so where am I going with this?

It seemed like a long winded explanation of how your photos can change just with a few key settings. But I was really just explaining these examples to build to a point:

Seeing models in real life can sometimes suck.

Some stores have terrible lights. I used to go to a store that used LED strips as lights. It was awful. So of course models are going to look different when you see them in front of you as opposed to when you see them online. There's a reason why artists are very careful with their lighting and placement when they present their work in a gallery, because they want you to experience their art in the best way possible.

But we as gamers don't always get this opportunity. A lot of the times we're hastily putting them on and off the table or moving them around terrain. Most people get to see your work in passing as they try to murder them with their tiny figures. We don't get the luxury of placing them in the best conditions possible when everyone gets to look at them, our only way of controlling that is through the photographs we post. And I don't plan on making it look anything worse than what I worked to have them look like when I painted them. Anyone's work can be made to look worse or better in photographs. You can take an award winning model and put it in a closet using only your phone's flash to illuminate it, I'm sure you'll lose some details and it won't look that good. So why not use the tools at your disposal to make it look as good as possible?

I guess the line we're really treading is using these tools to make it look better than it really is. I just wanted to make the distinction beforehand of how changing your settings and stuff can change the dynamics of your model. I highly doubt that many people are using Photoshop to add brush strokes or something to their models.

I argue that taking good photographs can actually make your work look worse. A lot of the pictures I show are larger than the models are themselves. This means all the tiny details are extremely visible. Every brush stroke can be seen, every mistake. If you can do this and it still looks good then more power to you. I tend to always find things I don't like about my models after taking photos of it. After all is said and done your models are mostly seen and scrutinized from arm's length most of the time.

Anyway, I guess what I'm really trying to say is I don't think people are using photography to pull a fast one on everyone, I know I don't. I don't believe that they're making award winning models out of crap just because of lighting. I think it's a tool to enhance your art and make it more presentable. A good painter can spot others' work regardless of the settings, and should be able to identify the skills necessary to pull off those tricks.

It's all subjective, really. I guess if you tread carefully and use your photos for the best intentions it should be okay. If you intend to show off your paint job then make your photos as true to life as possible. If you're using it for dramatic effect then I say all bets are off and any editing tools should be at your disposal. But the key is knowing how something as simple as changing your backdrop can change how your model appears is important, as it's not something that is used to elevate your painting skills, it just elevates how your art is received.

Let me know what you think, or if I'm just full of air!

Leveticus WIP and Thoughts on Projects

Leveticus

So over the weekend I got a few games of Warmachine in along with a few model builds. I brainstormed over a few ideas on how to base my Leveticus models and finally came up with this yesterday:

I've always wanted to try this out and was going to save it for Shenlong, but decided since I'm concentrating on my Outcasts I may never get to him and used it for Levi. My original thought was to have some undead/construct bursting out of the ground but figured with a small base there may not be room for it, and it seemed a bit elementary for such a cool model and master. So with the floating rubble you get a much more subtle, elegant and impressive display of power without detracting from the model. Placing these pieces was no picnic, however, and took me a long time and scrapping of a few arrangements to get it how I'd like it. Some of my first attempts didn't have a good "flow" to it and seemed like a bit much, along with a lot of pieces just jumping out of my fingers and tweezers. It's a bit difficult to see the effect when they're unpainted and kind of blend in.

Next I'll fill in a few gaps with green stuff and get to painting! I plan on keeping the model very dark and sinister, along with a new trick or two to display the magical aura surrounding the model that makes the stones float.

2015

So last year my resolution was to paint what I want, when I want, and it did not fail me. I felt no pressure to paint an army or crew and it was very liberating. In fact, due to this mentality, I feel my best work has come out.

My absolute favorite Malifaux piece thus far

I got to exercise a lot of new, fun techniques on this piece for MERCS

I came very close to having a fully painted Viktoria Crew. Considering that none of these models were painted at the start of the year and that I kept changing the composition of the crew with experience this isn't so bad at all.

I've also gotten a bit of Warmachine/Hordes done, as I painted some of my Highborn Covenant and a Troll beast or model here or there. I didn't update it much on the blog mostly because it didn't seem much of note to me, and some are works in progress too boring to update with.

One of my main accomplishments of the last year was my real jump into the non-metallic metal technique. I feel I've really improved on this and practiced it a lot more than mostly any other technique.

My Infinity Oniwaban painted in February, still a WIP!

Viktoria of Ashes, my absolute favorite face I've painted

These two were my first real dive into NMM without much guidance. With the Oniwaban I simple mimicked previous paint jobs done to identify where the contrasts were placed and experience it first hand. With the Viktoria model I just winged it to see if what I knew could cut it on my own, and it didn't look bad. But knowing what I know now I can see major improvement, especially with the blade and hilt. The knee pads and shoulder were a bit more successful, but I love the way she turned out. I also attempted to airbrush purple into the contrast of the blade, which I feel isn't the effect of what I wanted but is passable.

With my foray into NMM I also jumped further into learning glazes. I've done this before but not with the intent I have now. This is quite an interesting technique that I'm still learning currently, as it's not as subtle as I'd like it to be.

In the airbrush department I feel I'm finally getting my stride. I can control it much better and understand the properties that come along with using it. It is now a standard tool in my arsenal, and I think every model I've painted last year had at least one step of involvement with the airbrush. Also, primer through an airbrush is a godsend, and I recommend it for every painter out there. It has made painting so much easier, as now I no longer have to wager on the spray can's mood or drudge through hand painting primer.

Last year I felt my painting take leaps and bounds ahead.

In gaming I'd have to say the game I concentrated most on was Malifaux. I was able to get at least one weekly game consistently during the second half of the year, and I definitely increased my skill dramatically. I went from absolute noob to being able to hold my own with the group, although there are definitely some players I've yet to really pose a challenge to. There are some tough matchups, notably one player's Lylith list that is nationally renowned and another player's Ressers.

My Warmachine/Hordes experience felt stagnant, although my Trolls got much better and I feel my love of my Mercs diminished. My Retribution are absolutely horrid, although they do well enough on the table top I just don't feel like I have fun with them as much. I did win a steam roller with them at the beginning of the year however. The tournament scenarios for 2015 were much more forgiving to my armies, and I definitely felt like the Arcane Reservoir objective became a crutch for me. I hope they keep it this year!

The new game I dove into in 2015 was MERCS. I absolutely love the system and have only gotten a handful of games in, but I definitely treated it as one of my main games. I've probably gotten enough stuff for the game to field 3 tables for it and have a total of 4 factions for the game. I painted two models for it, but it's okay since that's 40% of a squad right there, and I really want to make them a shining example of my skills.

2016

So what are my plans for this year?

Well for starters my next game that I'm getting into is this:

It's an awesome Gladiatorial combat game, set in a small arena with cohorts of small model counts - they can be played as 1v1 up to 8v8 or more. It scales very well no matter the model count, and more notably even with more players. This is a huge feat considering that not a lot of games play well with 3 players and sometimes more, as rules are generally designed with 2 players in mind. The fluidity of the rules make a 3 player game no different than 2 players which is awesome since my group of friends from Huntsville usually consist of 3 of us, meaning one player sits out while the other two play. It's a simple game mechanically, with a very unique damage system and cool resource management with fatigue and favor (a cool mechanic representing the crowd!). Malifaux taught me that resource management in a game can create a cool dynamic that alters your choices throughout the game in subtle ways, and this seems no different. For a system with a 20 page rulebook (that's free online, along with all the stats!) there are so many layers, and to me that represents as close to perfect as a rules set can ever be. Warhammer has been known for their rulebooks that consist of hundreds of pages and several different books all needed to play, but games like this show that the same depth and choice can be achieve without caving in on itself with bloated rules. It also seems to achieve a nice balance between models, as there are no points or composition rules. So far I haven't seen any broken combinations, as this game tends to have streamlined abilities and damages, and victories are usually determined by tactical placement over individual abilities or statistics. Everyone has access to the core abilities that cause most damage or advantage.

Plus I get to say various quotes from Gladiator and Spartacus. There will be many "Are you not entertained?!" screams.

Also for this game I have the lofty idea of building my own arena. We'll see how that goes... probably the same way all my ideas for terrain go... nowhere!

In terms of personal painting goals for the year I'd like to get closer to having two full crews painted for Malifaux. Most of my Viktoria crew is painted short of a model or two, it's just my Leveticus crew that has no painted models short of Hannah who is double dipping in both. I am definitely motivated to paint Leve himself, so at least he'll be done relatively soon! I don't see many models in his crew being a challenge other than The Mechanical Rider, but mostly because she's a large model. She's very similar to Hannah's model so it's ground I've tread before.

I'd also like to have my House 9 force painted for MERCS, and when I do get into Arena Rex I'd like at least 6 to 9 models painted for 3v3 gaming.

However, I am once again adhering to my previous resolution and only painting what I am motivated to paint with no pressure as to completion of any force or timetable, save those timetables I'm motivated to finish! I will however put my best efforts toward finishing the Dreamer crew for a friend as it's been a long time since I took that commission on. 

In terms of increasing skill in gameplay my main focus will probably be Malifaux, as it's the game I'm most enthusiastic for right now. All my other games are mostly casual as there aren't too many local supporters for them, but I can also work on improving my WM/H game. One day I may purchase the items needed for my other Retribution list, or perhaps start working on my Legion army that I haven't even assembled yet! It really is in the back of my priorities, though, as I'm not nearly as motivated to play that game as I am for others. The models are definitely my least favorite when compared to everything else in my collection. I may even start painting some Wu Ming from Infinity as I really want to try a cool scheme with them.

I also have an awesome idea on a huge conversion project for my third Malifaux crew, so I may post up pics for that if I ever start to work on it.

Anyway, that is my year in review and project goals. Let me know what you think!

Competitive vs. Casual

In any hobby there seems to be a rift between those who are entry-level participants and those who take it to the next level.

One of my other hobbies is (or rather, was...) paintball. I love the sport and have played it on and off all the way back to my first year of high school. I've never met anyone who played it and didn't love it, it's just one of those primal games that gets you pumped on a whole different level. But there was a definite split between those who casually played it - commonly referred to as "Walk-Ons" - to those who played it damn near every weekend. On the field you could see the stark contrast before the game even begins. The casuals are using rentals, wearing jeans and a t-shirt, maybe some old fatigues thinking it's crucial to camouflaging themselves on the field or something. The hardcore players wore brightly colored speedball jerseys, had alien technology for markers and a harness full of pods. Then on the field the elite players are zipping all over the field, firing off ropes of paint at ridiculous speeds and simply demolishing the opposition.

This division happens in almost any hobby, at least for every one that I've come across. In video games there's the casual who owns a Wii, or plays on their phone, or even online. Then there's the neckbeards who chastise you for feeding the opponents or pull off ridiculous feats in PvP. In art there's the pinterest painter against the modern artist. Weight lifters joke about if you even lift, hipsters say you've probably never heard of their band, etc.

There's a common thread that occurs when there's an interest that is pursued there are always those who dedicate themselves entirely to the cause for their obsession and love. Techniques are scrutinized, purity is evaluated and its philosophy is discussed at length.

This all leads to our little corner in the hobby-verse, which is no different. Within our community exists a rift, one that is blurry and defining simultaneously. It seethes beneath all aspects of this wonderful escape of ours, and tends to separate or unite participants without even truly being understood - the difference between the competitive and casual player.

When I refer to these broad categories I'm mainly thinking of two aspects: the player as a strategist and one as a painter. These categories actually differ greatly to me in my experience as to their levels of difference, and I'll try to identify them when speaking on them.

Let's start with this: we were all casual players once. When being introduced to the world of hobby gaming we were all noobs. We didn't know or understand everything presented to us. That is a given. So we'll start with that!

Earlier I discussed my entry into the hobby. It was magical, it opened my eyes to a whole new world of possibilities that I could control. I didn't have to understand it to know that this has been what I've wanted to do for the rest of my life - it was love at first sight.

I won't go into what it feels like any further, I'm strictly sticking to two aspects: gaming and painting.

Noobs at gaming tend to make similar mistakes to one another. It comes with the territory, as these games tend to be a bit more complicated than Risk. It takes a while before it all sinks in! So I'm going to skip ahead of that part and get into around maybe the first year or two, once you've gotten all the nuances down.

There's a certain point in most of our gaming careers where we realize how our pieces interacted within the game, and what tends to be the most efficient and effective pieces in actual game experience as opposed to what we thought would be a kick-ass dude based on his picture or fluff. For me this was min-maxing in Warhammer and realizing that my play style was much more effective once there were no Marines on foot and I brought as much cheap AP weapons to the table as possible (melta guns FTW!). This was the turning point for me where I shifted from casual to competitive, and it was all a grey area for the next year but I clearly abandoned fluff for rules. Granted, I still ate up the fluff, but it took a back seat to what the stats to a model was. Great fluff to what I want to field? Icing on the cake!

Now there was a magical time before this. Just imagining my marines just tearing up fools on the battlefield would keep me up at night. Thinking of how my paint jobs related to the Silver Shadows' - my home brewed chapter - history was exhilarating. I'd read books on how Uriel Ventris, a mere captain of the Ultramarines would just wreck shop and think "That's what I'm going to do," was epic.

Then I met others, played them, and had the sickening realization that I just got pwnd. It kind of got me down, I hit the valley most do when getting into a new hobby where you think that you just wasted your time, or you'll never get good enough. But being the great hobby it was I stuck with it and vowed to get better.

There's an excitement that just can't truly be captured when you first enter the hobby. This is something that the casuals have over others. They aren't disillusioned with the rules set, or the meta, or the models. These physical representations aren't just vessels for stats and rules. They were a character, a personality that seemed as real as having a pet. They'd fawn over these little guys, know exactly how many miniatures they had in our collection, and relish over their new box that they'd wrack their brains over exactly which pieces they'd want to use to make them look awesome.

Then, well, we want to learn how to win.

We all like winning, right? At least I do. And our games condition us a certain way on how to think. Strategy isn't some general term that is utilized here, no no no. The way to be able to make strategic moves is knowing your rules set and statistics inside and out.

This meant poring over every detail, every new codex, every new box and knowing exactly what it did. Over time this saturation and studying slowly chokes the magic out. I'm not saying that it will entirely, nor am I alluding that this happens to everyone. But on a level it does, because knowledge takes away mystery, for better or worse. It's like a magic trick. When it first happens you're confused and in awe, once you know the trick you're disappointed.

And this leads to our counterpart, the competitive player. This is the one that knows the technicalities of the rules, the wording and difference between key words. They pore over FAQs, they study the differences of armies and their efficiency, they see the numbers, and they attend all the tournaments. They get a new type of excitement now, the rush from a clean win against a tough opponent, knowing they got the better of another. And if they're not careful, they'll look down on the casual.

There's a feeling of superiority once you reach a certain level of playing. This power of being better at the game than another can really take hold in our community. There's a feeling of elitism that couples with being a better player that you can't help but feel, and that's fine, you've worked hard to get where you're at and took a lot of crap on the way. But when it transforms to snubbery it gets dangerous.

I see it a lot, and I won't lie and say I haven't been a part of it. Arrogance, sore losing, arguments, trash talking, it's all a part of our competitive player scene.

It can be vitriolic, I know that I flat out refuse to play some people due to this since that behavior makes a game simply not fun. And I don't dedicate time, money and effort to go out and not have fun. It's a reason why I've taken a break from attending tournaments for a while now.

But the interesting thing about that competitive player is the challenge. Steel sharpens steel after all, and playing others at that level is what has made me a better player throughout the years. Some days I'm not interested in playing a beginner at all and can have just as little fun teaching someone to play as getting stomped by someone. It's not to say I don't have fun teaching or getting stomped, like all things in life it just depends.

But I do miss that mystery and awe from when I was more casual... and games tend to be more fun than business-like.

This divide seems to be a lot less grating when it comes to painting however. While there is a competitive aspect to it, it is a lot more relaxed as it is a much more natural skill than gaming. There is also an accepted aspect to it as most people who play claim themselves to be "not that good at it," so there's a mutual acceptance if your work is sub-par. It is quite an intimidating aspect of the hobby and usually takes a while for it to kick in, if it does at all.

Anyway, sorry for the long rant. I just thought it would be interesting to put these ideas to digital paper.

My life in hobby gaming...

So being that this is a blog about my favorite hobby I decided to just go on a tangent about my experience as a miniature gamer.

I remember my first experience being exposed to the hobby. When I was a kid I used to go to the mall a lot with my folks. As a child there was only a few things in my life I cared about: comics and video games. So back when malls had arcades I'd always plop my happy butt in them for hours at a time while my mom went shopping. This was also back when parents left their tiny children alone in malls with no fear.

So on a trip to Toronto we decided to stop at a huge mall. I do what I naturally always did and looked at the directory for the arcade's location. By a happenstance of fate I see "Games Workshop" and head straight for it.

Instead of an arcade, I had found destiny.

I remember a brightly lit store with all manners of models that were impressively painted. The shelves were lined with boxes and paints. Tables were set up with terrain and demo models for bystanders to try. A very enthusiastic employee described everything to me in detail and allowed me to play with him using the (3rd edition) starter box - which included 10 marines and a landspeeder (painted as Ravenwing) against 20 Dark Eldar. Before then I only knew of model cars, which I had extensive experience with as my uncle and I did a million of along with rockets and pinewood derby. But little dudes with guns fighting over a battlefield before your eyes?!

When it was time to go my dad found me at the would-be arcade. I showed him how cool everything was and begged him to buy me a starter. My dad was definitely more than willing to get me a new toy (ha!), then saw the price tag for the starter to be a whopping $75 and politely turned the GW employee down. I know, $75 for a GW starter is nothing anymore.

I left defeated, but I was determined to get my hands on it one day. That was in the 4th grade.

Being that we lived in Germany at the time I didn't think I'd have the opportunity to obtain the game, but I always kept it in my head as something I just knew I had to have one day. For a 4th grader to have that type of focus, it should indicate how determined I was for it. Granted, these were the days before the internet's boom, online shopping didn't exist, you didn't have a website to do research, and if you did it was very crude. I thought about it almost every day until we moved back to the US in 7th grade. When we moved to New York I still sought after finding a "Games Workshop" at a mall like I had done before. It was a good while until we went to the Syracuse Mall and I found one!

This time I managed to get my parents to buy a White Dwarf magazine and order the old Citadel Catalog. This gave me all the info I needed to further pursue the hobby - a book full of pictures of cool toys and articles on painting, a list of GW retailers, a Sears-catalog-like list of available models, and the number to their hotline! Yes, kids, they used to have a 1-800 number to call, and this is how you used to settle rules disputes or ask general questions about the game. I remember my first phone call to them asking what the rules were on painting your guys - and the confused voice on the other end saying "however you want" and blowing a kid's mind.

I showed this to my friends at school and found out that one of them actually knew about the game and had a few models for it! When I say a few, I mean like 3 space marines. We had about 3 other guys who wanted to get into it as well, but in hindsight only Brennan and I absolutely wanted to go through with it. We actually changed plans to get into Epic 40k as it was cheaper, but we really didn't an idea of what we actually wanted, just some Space Marines. I didn't even realize/remember that there was a rulebook lol.

A little further down the road we met up with a friend of his who actually had some Space Wolf models and they were painted. We were going to play a game together with what he had. I expected it to be like my first experience with the GW employee, but it turned out to be how you'd expect 3 kids to play with toy soldiers. A lot of sound effects being made and overall a recreation of a scene from Andy playing in Toy Story.

We had fun, but I sought that true experience. Fast forward to moving back to Germany. I was still hungry for the game, but hormones and high school made it take a back seat for a while. I still made model cars and military craft, but I had gotten into a lot of other hobbies along the way, like skating, playing drums, and girls (haha!). I still kept it in the back of my mind though. Around that time I found the internet, it was still a crude form of it - it was slow, you dialed-up to get on, and chat rooms were the thing. On a whim I searched for Games Workshop's website and found it! I begged my parents to help me order it. Five weeks later - shipping was also not as good back then for some reason - I had gotten my first models! I put it all together with PVA glue (for some reason I thought that was the special glue needed for the models) and read the rules. I hadn't had anyone to play it with for about a year since none of my friends knew about it.

During my sophomore year I visited my sister in New York for the summer. Didn't bring my models with me, but I did bring my rule book to read on the plane along with some comics. When I visited her she would drive me to the Syracuse mall periodically (a 3 hour drive, bless her heart) so I could visit the GW store. It had been years, but they remembered me from before! This time I came with the most important thing: money! I had bought a space marine starter box, paints, the codex, and the old SM Commander with the Storm Bolter. I didn't play any, but watched as others did and spent a lot of time with them learning how to paint, and the importance of primer. Also, to use super glue.

I remember asking what inks did (back when they sold inks) and being told that it gives definition, and having no idea what that meant and nodding.

Well I came back with tons of stuff in a GW case and got to work on it back home. I painted up my force to be all Black with Silver trim. And gold eagles. And red in random places. It was quite hodgepodge, as some newbies are prone to do lol.

As it turns out, I met a new friend who also knew about Warhammer and had some Tyranids. We would get together periodically and play 500 point games together. We still talk to this day, and he still plays Warhammer.

The next year I visited New York again, this time I had a lot more stuff and got to play a few games. I was also learning how to drive, so my sister and I took several road trips to a few different stores.

After I graduated high school I moved to Texas to go to college in a small town. I had all my Warhammer stuff with me in the dorm, but being such a small town I didn't expect to find anywhere to play locally. One day I went with a friend to pick up Domino's Pizza and on the way in the store out of the corner of my eye I saw a Warhammer 40k poster. My heart stopped and I walked inside. There I saw people playing Warhammer and a few of my now lifelong friends playing different games. I couldn't contain my excitement and started going there almost daily.

This is where a lot of my most fond memories occurred. I just so happened to have discovered the place the week they were doing a huge game event for Warhammer, involving no less than 12 players in a huge free-for-all game. I also discovered there was a new edition to the game I didn't know about that just recently released. I met a lot of people who I still play with to this day.

A really good friend of mine taught me how to play the game correctly and how to think differently when it comes to list composition and gameplay. He also taught me about painting, and I remember how he blew my mind when he showed me how to layer paint with red up to orange (a lot of things got a treatment of red after that haha). We played almost religiously and went to dozens of tournaments around Texas. I had moved from successfully playing vanilla Space Marines to Slaanesh Chaos Marines - which I actually did very well with - to my Ravenwing, which won several tournaments consistently. I vastly improved my painting abilities and discovered that it is one of my favorite aspects to the hobby by far, even winning several painting competitions and usually coming out with Best Painted in most of the tournaments we attended. After several years we took the plunge for Warhammer Fantasy and quickly discovered that it was even better!

After a few years of that we moved on to Warmachine (Mark 1) for a change of pace. Our group got somewhat smaller but we still met up weekly for gaming. During these years I was opened up to a lot more than miniature gaming. We played lots of board games - Battlestar Galactica was probably one of my favorite moments. We played Star Wars Miniatures extensively (a great game that went the way of the dodo), I was shoved into Versus and discovered why they called CCGs "Cardboard Crack," and plenty more that I wouldn't be able to recall.

After I graduated college I got married and we planned on moving to El Paso to be closer to my family, along with the pursuit of a career of some sort. Warmachine MkII just came out and we were knee-deep in the game, but when I moved to El Paso I had a hard time finding opportunities to game. There was only one shop I found over there, and they were more into Magic the Gathering than miniatures. Although I played Magic, the scene wasn't very welcoming (I find a lot of Magic stores to be less forgiving, but that's painting with a broad brush) and I quickly lost any drive to make the effort to go there. So for about two years I didn't do any table top gaming, and hardly any painting at all. I did try to get some friends of mine into it, but nothing ever came out of it.

It wasn't anything to complain about, I rediscovered one of my other hobbies I did in high school - paintball. But that's a whole other story, all that needs to be said is this - that hobby can be even more expensive lol.

My family had moved away from El Paso after two years. Being that my wife missed living near her parents and most of mine had moved we decided to come back to the Houston area. When we moved back here one of the first things I did was search for a local shop to play at. I knew Houston was a hotbed for miniature gaming and that there should be several stores nearby. I discovered my local gaming store and got right back in to the swing of things. I even met some people who I've gamed with since then.

I not only discovered my local store, I found a lot others including visiting the new location of one of my old regular places, Fat Ogre. If you're ever in that area of Houston you should definitely visit.

I got a great job and have since been rediscovering my love of painting and playing. I've probably grown more in the last two years as a painter than I have my entire painting career! I'm also into more games now than I can count, mostly due to the renaissance of miniature gaming that's occurring thanks to YouTube, Kickstarter and other internet influences. I'm closer now than ever to having one of my dreams since I first saw miniatures in having terrain and a full table to be proud of.

So we come to today. It's a day of hobby reflection for me, where I pause and take stock as to my growth as a person in this wonderful distraction of ours. Miniature gaming has taken me to become a better person, helped me meet incredible lifelong friends, and pushed the boundaries of my creativity. It really is a large chunk of my identity and I've dedicated a good portion of my life toward it. It may not be something like a career or lifetime achievement, but it is something that is of value. Gaming may not save any lives other than the pretend soldiers on the table, but it's been a driving and guiding force consistently throughout my short existence.